by Junita Thakorlal
‘Click, tap, swipe, repeat. It’s all so…impersonal.’
This is what the ad read for dating company It’s Just Lunch in the SouthWest Magazine which I was reading while aboard a flight from LA. I remember thinking, “if people in the City of Angels were having a hard time getting a date, then people back home are somewhat screwed!”
There is a distinct appeal to experiencing the thrill of a new relationship; the chance at a fresh start is an intoxicating hope, especially when you’re at an age when new opportunities might seem few and far between. Although I’ve never tried online dating, many of my friends have. Some have found success after a few attempts, and others not so much. But either way, we as a society seem to be placing our trust in cyberspace to help us find our ideal mate.
Those flying solo can wear sweatpants while lounging on the sofa, hair in a messy bun, fingernails yellow with haldi from eating subzi and roti, watching Dilwale Dulhunia Le Jayenge, and swiping right on discerning hunks and future baby-daddy’s. Cliché, but sound familiar? When was the last time you held a conversation with a random on the skytrain? At the grocery store? In an elevator? Isn’t it somewhat ironic that through our own inability to socially engage, is what makes us yearn to find that personal connection? Perhaps the computer isn’t wrong with matching 0’s and 1’s, helping singles around the globe find the ultimate “one”.
We catch up with three women to find how they fared with online dating on their route to exit Singlesville:
Rina: My site of choice is Bumble. I have met so many quality men through there, but I’m having a hard time finding a real connection. I mean, how do you gauge someone’s personality through a few words and pictures? This is why my profile is real and authentically me, including photos that don’t have filters. Or else the first date will be more of a hook-up, which just doesn’t interest me. I’m a mother of two, I want commitment and a man that is responsible and caring.
Rupi: Online dating is so cold. I hate it. It’s a great way to meet new people and have some fun but I want more than that, which is why I get so sick of it sometimes. I put in effort to get ready for a first date because I’m excited to meet someone new, but the shitty part is coming home from the date after knowing it’s not “it”. It’s deflating. I just have to remember to put my cynicism aside after downing a tub of chocolate ice cream and doubting myself, then be open to new opportunities as they arise.
Melina: It’s a process but stay true to what you want from a partner. Deviation means you are settling. I went on at least 30 first dates, some of them super awkward. But now I’ve found someone that I met through Tinder and am deeply in love.
Strangely, it was when Melina let her guard down and stopped putting so much pressure on herself to find Mr. Right that he happened to come along. Finding someone that understands you while you are, in fact, sitting on the sofa in your sweats watching your fave show as the waft of tadka emanates from the bowl on the coffee table, is the ultimate goal regardless of whether you meet your mate on or offline.